Hello! Here is the 2nd in the series - "When I Feel...".
I hope that the following will open the doors to conversations with your kids, with each other. Loneliness is a topic that we should be covering right now during our Covid-19 quarantine. Think about all the people your children would see in the day. Think about how many people spoke into their lives, whether it be teachers, school employees, church workers, etc. Now it is just you. They don't get to see friends, extended family, or participate in events they normally would.
They may not understand the feelings they are having. They may not be able to name them. But you may be seeing those feelings in their actions. Maybe they are obsessing over a game, netflix series, or shutting themselves completely off from the world, or maybe they are being more expressive in both positive and negative ways, needing your love and affection, or touchy about every little thing.
Before we redirect, correct, or give them consequences, first we should think about what the underlying cause might be to the behavior they are displaying. Not that we let that go, but maybe we handle it in a different way than our instincts tell us.
All that said, here is a way to get the conversation started. Open those doors and see if your children will open up about how they are feeling during this time. Don't forget to be vulnerable and share how you're doing as well!
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Overarching Verse - This is the verse to memorize during this entire series, however, there will be other daily verses that you could work on as works for your family.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2
Memory Verse for Loneliness
Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
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Song
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Illustration
For Kids:
For the Family:
The Story of General Stockdale
General Jim Stockdale was the highest ranking officer in the Hanoi Hilton Prisoner of war camp in the 1960's. He was shot down and spent 8 years in the camp. Jim wrote about his time in the camp.
It was bleak. They could pull him out at any time and torture him at any moment. You wouldn't know when or if you would ever be released. You didn't know the end of the story. When asked about how he managed for so long he said, "I never wavered in my faith, not only that I would get out, but that I would turn it into the defining event in my life, where in retrospect, I would not trade."
When asked, "Who didn't make it out?" He said, "That's easy - the optimists. They were the ones who said, 'We'll be out by Christmas.' When that came and went they said, 'We'll be out by Easter.' And inevitably that came and went. And so went the cycle. They suffered from a broken heart."
The lesson from Stockdale is that he knew he would prevail in the end and he had the discipline to confront the brutal facts as they actually were.
Story retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvWWO7F9kQY
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Read Jeremiah 15
Loneliness has been defined as “a chronic distressful mental state whereby an individual feels estranged from or rejected by peers and is starved for the emotional intimacy found in relationships and mutual activity.”
Jeremiah, a prophet of the Lord, is also the author of Lamentations, a book that expresses the anguish in his heart as he watched the city of Jerusalem go down in ruin. Jeremiah is known as the weeping prophet because of his anguish and tears over the city of Jerusalem. No one listened to his calls for repentence. He was the only one crying out to the people. Jeremiah 9:2 says, "Oh, that I had in the desert a lodging place for travelers, so that I might leave my people and go away from them; for they are all adulterers, a crowd of unfaithful people." He was feeling he would be better off out in the desert than to stay with those who cared nothing for God. He was alone in that land.
Later in the book of Jeremiah, God tells Jeremiah to not marry or have children (16:2). Not only did Jeremiah have to walk alone early in his life, but now he is commanded to live out the rest of his days alone. In Jeremiah 16:5 God also commands Jeremiah not to attend social events like weddings or funerals.
Imagine the loneliness he felt. Not having a people to relate with or a family to find comfort with. It is the definition of loneliness. David M. Hoffeditz in his book "They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models, gives us five ways Jeremiah displayed perseverance through loneliness. They are; recognition of God's calling, trust in God's control, possession of God's perspective, a value of prayer, and an appreciation of friends. (See end note)
These 5 things are applicable when we feel as Jeremiah did. What is it God is calling you to right now? One thing we know for sure is that God has commanded us to be a light in the world. Matthew 5:16 says, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
Second, do you trust God's control? Luke 12:22-26 says, "Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” God watches over us all, even when bad things come into our lives, we can have peace knowing that He is there, He has a plan, and we are His.
Third, are you trying to see through God's eyes? Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,' says the LORD. 'Forasthe heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."
Fourth, do you value prayer? Sometimes people say a prayer in the morning and then at the end of the day think, "Well that didn't work!" Did you know that God commands us to pray without ceasing? 1 Thesselonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." No matter what faces you right now, God tells you to rejoice, pray and give thanks.
Lastly we can take from Jeremiah's example to appreciate our friends. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
We can take a lot from Jeremiah's example and General Stockdale's example. They both kept their perspective. For a relatively short time they endured the pain, but they knew what lay ahead. They held fast to the end of the story.
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Discussion Questions
1. How are Jeremiah and General Stockdale similar?
2. Of the 5 things that Jeremiah displayed in the face of loneliness, which one do you think is the most difficult for you? Can you explain?
3. What are some things you might try when you experience times of loneliness?
4. Why do you think God allows us to go through times of loneliness?
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Prayer
As you go to prayer as a family, take this time to think about where you are at. Are you experiencing times of loneliness? If there is one of the five displays of perseverence you are struggling with (for example: trusting in God), take this time to confess that. Ask God to help you see with His eyes (having His perspective). Then give thanks for the hard times you do go through, knowing that He is with you every step of the way.
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Thank you for using this resource. I hope that you have found it helpful as you incorporate Family Worship Time in your home. Please leave a note if this has been helpful to you. I'd love to hear how you implement these in your home.
Thank you!
Rachel
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