Hello! Here is the next lesson in the "When I Feel..." Series. Today we are going to talk about anger. The thing about anger is that it is usually a cover for some other emotion that is taking place. When my kids show signs of anger, I try to think about what else might be going on under the surface. I may need to give them time before I can really talk with them and work through what is really going on.
For us as parents, I think that our motto needs to be grace. Grace for ourselves and grace for our kids. This isn't saying we let them off the hook for certain behaviors, but we remind ourselves that they do not have all of the tools in their toolbox yet to deal with things in a different way than we would like them to. So when we see anger come out, we need to be willing to not give consequences for that anger. We may need to correct the product of that anger, but ultimately help them understand that anger is okay. They will feel anger numerous times in their life, but what we need to do is help them find alternative ways to deal with that emotion.
So when your children display anger, take it as a teachable moment. My dad, when we would do or say something that was way out there, deserving punishment, would send us to our rooms. His strategy wasn't about giving us the punishment of being in our room in that moment. What it allowed was for him to calm down if he felt upset, it allowed my brother and I to calm down, and it gave him a chance to pray. When he then entered the room, he was in the right mindset to shephard. To bring his sheep back in, correcting, disciplining if need be, but ultimately speaking into our lives.
Take this opportunity to discuss anger with your family. This could be a good foundational discussion to refer back to when future situations arise.
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Memory Verse
Overarching Verse - This is the verse to memorize during this entire series, however, there will be other daily verses that you could work on as works for your family.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2
Memory Verse for anger
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” James 1:19-20
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Songs
For the Family: As you watch this song, keep our theme of anger in mind. How does anger and forgiveness relate?
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Illustration
For Kids:
For the Family:
A lady once came to Billy Sunday and attempted to rationalize her angry outbursts. She said, “There’s nothing wrong with losing my temper. I blow up, and then it’s all over.”
Mr. Sunday replied, “So does a shotgun, and look at the damage it leaves behind!”
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Read - Genesis 4
We see the first outburst of anger in Genesis 4. We see Cain get angry with his brother Abel. He get so angry that he ends up killing him. Abel brought his offering to the Lord and God received it with favor. Then Cain brought his offering but God did not look upon it with favor. There isn't a clear reason why God didn't look on Cain's with favor. Perhaps Abel’s offering was in obedience. Perhaps God had made clear at that time that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin. It is possible that Abel brought to the Lord the first fruits and his best whereas Cain did not. But one thing we know: Abel's heart was right when he came to the Lord with his sacrifice and Cain’s heart was not right.
Cain’s reaction to all of this was to become angry. In his conversation with the Lord, God gave him opportunity to resolve the problem in his own heart and get things right. But here was Cain’s underlying problem. Instead of taking personal responsibility, he blamed Abel. Instead of addressing the issues in his own heart he saw the problem as being something wrong with Abel. Cain could not see the reality of the situation or his heart condition. He refused to see things as they really were. His thinking was wrong. Therefore the action he took was wrong.
Take turns reading the following verses on anger:
Proverbs 29:22 says, "People with quick tempers cause a lot of quarreling and trouble.”
Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, “Keep your temper under control; it is foolish to harbor a grudge.”
Ephesians 4:26 says, "“If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin, and do not stay angry all day.”
Ephesians 4:31 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort.”
2 Timothy 2:23-25 says, “But keep away from foolish and ignorant arguments; you know that they end up in quarrels. As the Lord’s servant, you must not quarrel. You must be kind toward all, a good and patient teacher, who is gentle as you correct your opponents, for it may be that God will give them the opportunity to repent and come to know the truth.”
The bible is clear about the damage being angry can do.
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Discussion Questions
1. How does the short illustration of the lady and Billy Sunday compare to this story of Cain?
2. Cain blamed Abel for the situation he was in. He allowed that anger to burn. Has there ever been a time you blamed someone else for the situation you were in?
3. Is anger an okay feeling to have? (Psalm 37:8)
4. What are some actions you can take when you feel angry?
5. How does anger and forgiveness go together?
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Family Prayer time
As you go to prayer today, think about when you have been angry. Is your anger directed at a particular person? Do you need to ask for forgiveness? If so, now is a good time to do that, if it was a family member, and to ask God to forgive you for your anger. Now would be a good time to ask God to help you be quick to listen and slow to speak.
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Thank you for using this resource. I hope that you have found it helpful as you incorporate Family Worship Time in your home. Please leave a note if this has been helpful to you. I'd love to hear how you implement these in your home.
Thank you!
Rachel
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